87 Witty Bagel Puns & Jokes That’ll Make You Loaf Hard
Bagels are more than just a breakfast staple—they’re a source of joy, humor, and endless pun opportunities.
That’s why we have compiled this collection of bagel puns and jokes about bagel that are perfect for any occasion, from sharing with friends to spicing up your morning routine.
20 Best Bagel Puns
In this section, we’ve gathered the 20 best bagel puns that will surely make you smile and maybe even crave a bagel or two.
These puns are perfect for sharing with friends or simply enjoying a lighthearted moment during your day.
1. You’re the hole package.
2. Bagel me with your best shot.
3. You’re my everything (bagel).
4. Don’t get in a twist, it’s just a bagel.
5. I’m on a roll with these puns.
6. Let’s dough this!
7. You bake me happy.
8. The cream of the crop.
9. Life is what you bake of it.
10. Bagel-ieve in yourself.
11. Bagel and schmear, the perfect pair.
12. Bagel it or leave it.
13. Bagel-lieve it or not, I’m walking on air.
14. Have a hole lot of fun!
15. Feeling hole-y today.
16. Time to get baked!
17. You’re my favorite hole-some snack.
18. Don’t be a bagel, be a hero.
19. Bagels: the holey grail of breakfast.
20. I’m just here for the lox.
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12 Bagel Puns for Teachers
Teachers deserve a bit of fun and humor in their day, and what better way to bring a smile to their faces than with some bagel puns?
These 12 puns are selected specifically for educators, combining the joy of teaching with the delightful humor of bagels. Whether you’re a teacher yourself or know one, these puns are sure to bring a chuckle and brighten up the classroom environment.
1. Let’s spread some knowledge.
2. Bagel to the top of the class.
3. Hole lot of learning going on.
4. This lesson is on a roll.
5. Schmear some wisdom.
6. Bagel my day with your insights.
7. Baked with love and learning.
8. Time to get a little “twisted” in our thinking.
9. You’re the cream cheese to my bagel.
10. Rolling into a new topic.
11. Hole-y smokes, you aced that test!
12. Don’t get in a twist about homework.
10 One-Liner Bagel Puns
Sometimes, all you need is a quick one-liner to bring a smile to someone’s face.
These 10 one-liner bagel puns are short, sweet, and straight to the point. Perfect for a quick laugh or a witty remark, as they’re easy to remember and even easier to share.
1. Bagels are just dough-nuts with an identity crisis.
2. I’m on a bagel break.
3. Holey smokes, that’s a good bagel.
4. Bagel-icious!
5. You’re my bae-gel.
6. Lox of love.
7. Bagels: the circle of loaf.
8. Roll with it.
9. Bagels: the hole truth.
10. Bagels make the world go round.
10 Cute Bagel Puns
Cute bagel puns add a touch of sweetness to your day, much like a freshly baked bagel.
These 10 puns are perfect for expressing affection, spreading joy, or simply enjoying a moment of lightheartedness.
1. You’re my hole world.
2. Life’s butter with you.
3. Bagel kisses and cream cheese dreams.
4. You fill the hole in my heart.
5. You’re a-dough-rable.
6. Hole lotta love for you.
7. Let’s have a bagel-tastic day!
8. You’re the lox to my bagel.
9. Sweet as a bagel.
10. Dough-n’t ever change.
20 Best Bagel Jokes
Bagel jokes are a fantastic way to enjoy some hearty laughs. These 20 best bagel jokes are crafted to bring joy and humor to any situation.
From clever punchlines to witty twists, these jokes will entertain bagel lovers and humor enthusiasts alike.
1. The bagel felt crumby, so it went to see a therapist. “I feel so empty inside,” the bagel confessed. The therapist replied, “Maybe you need to fill that hole with something meaningful, like cream cheese.”
2. Once upon a time, a slice of bread and a bagel were having an argument. The slice of bread said, “You’ll never be as versatile as me!” The bagel replied, “At least I have a hole in one!”
3. A bagel wanted to apologize to its partner but didn’t know how. It finally said, “I dough-nut know what I’d do without you. Please forgive me.”
4. A bagel dreamed of becoming an athlete, so it joined a rugby team. During its first game, it quickly realized it loved the scrum—it was a natural fit!
5. Determined to stay in shape, the bagel signed up for the gym. When its friends asked why, it said, “I need to get more hole-some.”
6. A bagel loved listening to music. When asked its favorite genre, it confidently answered, “Roll-n-roll, of course!”
7. One day, a bagel decided to cross the road. When someone asked why, the bagel simply replied, “To schmear myself on the other side.”
8. A bagel won the lottery and couldn’t contain its excitement. It shouted, “I’m on a roll!”
9. In the sweltering summer heat, a bagel stayed cool by chilling in the cooler. It always knew how to keep its cool.
10. A bagel had a secret but couldn’t keep it toasted. Every time someone asked, it blushed and spilled the beans—or rather, the crumbs.
11. At the bakery, the bagel always reminded the baker, “Dough not forget about me!”
12. The bagel turned red when it saw the butter getting spread. It thought to itself, “I’ve never seen something so smooth.”
13. A bagel loved to twist and turn. When asked its favorite exercise, it replied, “The twist, naturally!”
14. Taking its driving test, the bagel struggled to stay in its lane. The instructor sighed, “You’re too twisted for this.”
15. At a party, one bagel greeted another with enthusiasm, “Let’s get baked tonight!”
16. Known for its comedy, the bagel always had the best twist endings. It loved hearing people laugh.
17. When the bagel saw the doughnut, it exclaimed, “We’re on a roll together!”
18. A bagel was trying to practice law but always got in a twist. Its clients loved it for its hole-hearted efforts.
19. Every morning, the bagel greeted the day with a cheery, “Rye there!”
20. The bagel joined the cooler during summer, saying, “It’s time to chill out.”
15 Bad Bagel Jokes
Not all jokes have to be top-tier to bring a smile. Sometimes, the charm lies in their cheesiness or how bad they are.
These 15 bad bagel jokes embrace the groan-worthy and the eye-roll-inducing humor that still manages to entertain.
1. There was a bagel that believed it could fly. It told everyone, “I’m just a plain bagel with big dreams.”
2. After breaking up with the muffin, the bagel found someone better and said, “I knead someone who’s butter for me.”
3. When the bagel wanted to ask someone out, it tried to flirt by saying, “Are you bready for a date with me?”
4. At the bakery, a rude customer got served by a bagel who said, “Don’t be such a crustacean.”
5. Deciding to further its education, the bagel went to school, announcing, “I’m here for a little bready-cation.”
6. The bagel’s least favorite month was October. It always complained, “It’s the crustiest time of the year.”
7. In an attempt to be punctual, the bagel sat on the clock. When asked why, it replied, “I wanted to be on time.”
8. Everyone laughed when they saw a bagel with wings. They said, “Look, it’s a beagle bagel!”
9. Trying to stop a bagel from moving, someone suggested, “Put a lox on it!”
10. A bagel with a PhD was always referred to as a “smart cookie” by its friends.
11. The bagel loved watching game shows and always cheered for its favorite, “The Yeast is Right.”
12. People admired how the bagel always stayed calm. It never got in a twist about anything.
13. When asked about its favorite color, the bagel enthusiastically said, “I love all the colors in a rye-nbow!”
14. At breakfast, the bagel told the coffee, “We make a perfect pair.”
15. Avoiding a card game, the bagel explained, “I don’t want to get in a shuffle.”
10 Bagel Jokes for Kids
Kids love a good joke, and bagel jokes are no exception. These 10 bagel jokes are perfect for young audiences, combining simplicity with humor that kids can easily understand and enjoy.
Whether you’re looking to entertain at breakfast or just want to share some laughs with your little ones, these jokes are sure to be a hit. They’re wholesome, fun, and sure to bring giggles to any kid’s day.
1. Bagels are always happy because they’re on a roll! Even when things get tough, they just keep rolling along.
2. A clown made a bagel laugh so hard, it almost turned into toast. “You really crack me up!” the bagel said.
3. Every day, the bagel woke up excited, saying, “This is the yeast I can do!”
4. At recess, bagels loved playing their favorite game—Hole-y Ball. It’s always a fun time!
5. To keep its hair tidy, a bagel used a dough-nut. It always looked perfectly twisted.
6. A bagel and a pancake met at breakfast. The bagel complimented, “You’re flipping amazing!”
7. One summer, a bagel decided to go to the beach to get a little toasted. It came back perfectly golden brown.
8. When the phone rang, the bagel answered, “Bagel here! How can I help you?”
9. At the zoo, the bagel’s favorite animal was the lox. It always felt a special connection.
10. Invited to every party, the bagel was known for knowing how to roll and have a great time with everyone.
Why Bagel Puns Are Funny
Bagel puns and jokes are funny because they combine the familiar and beloved aspects of bagels with clever wordplay.
The circular shape of bagels, their texture, and their association with breakfast offer endless opportunities for humor. Puns, in particular, play on the double meanings of words, creating a delightful surprise for the listener or reader.
The unexpected twists and turns in bagel jokes keep people engaged and often bring a smile to their faces.
Whether it’s the simplicity of a one-liner or the clever twist of a more elaborate joke, bagel humor resonates because it turns an everyday item into a source of amusement.
So next time you enjoy a bagel, remember the hole lot of fun it can bring to your day!
